Two years, two losses

Two years -- that's how long I've been living in this country (USA). In that length of time, I have accomplished a lot yet loss two of the most important persons in my life.

December last year, my dear Uncle died. He was too young but he lived a great life. I have posted about him here.

I am not over with the hurt of such tragic loss and here I am dealing with a new one.

Heaven and earth fell on me upon hearing a devastating news. I had to ask my mother to repeat her words as I was out of myself. Suddenly, I became so speechless. I was just weeping and sobbing without uttering any words. My mother even had to tell me to be calmed.

Mama (grandmother) died yesterday. I was able to talk to her while she was laying in bed with all the needed apparatus attached on and in her body. She couldn't talk but was tearful. She was responding...We thought she'll be well because her vital signs were stable. She was fighting.

Before that happened, my mother said Mama was so happy and was just talking about this and that. She even said she is still strong until she was found unconscious and had peed in her bed early morning Friday. That was the start and the signs of lifeline.

Last month, we just found out that she had lung cancer. It took years before she nodded for a check-up. We could have had her treated if only she agreed to. For her, His will be done. If God says it's time, then it is.

During our conversation early this year, Mama was talking about her agony. According to her, losing a son tormented her apart. She couldn't accept that it happened beforehand and blamed God for that. She wanted to go first.

The death of my Uncle Boy made her so weak and lose her will to live. I have had told her that she still has five children and more than 20 grandchildren, loving her dearly and that I'll bring her to Manila for a vacation next year. She was delighted about that plan. Just like any other plans, mine is a failure. She didn't make it.

It sucks to think that I am here and couldn't come home to see her fighting in the hospital. It sucks that I couldn't see her for the last time. It sucks!!!

I will miss you, Mama. I love you!!!

Before I bid farewell in this post, I'd like to ask you to please include her(Agripina Cauayan) in your prayers. Thanks in advance.


DebbieDana said…
Sorry to hear about your loved one's passing mare! I just said a prayer for your uncle and lola.

Be strong, pagsubok lahat ng mga yan.


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